When Choices Are Lost
by DiorNicole
Summary: When Choices Are Lost, What Will A Man Do To Get Them Back. Sayid - Centric All reviews are welcomed. I’ll never get better, if I don’t know what I did wrong.
1. Your Not Real

Title: "When Choices Are Lost"

Author: DiorNicole & I Love JaSam 2

Beta: Faithfulwriter‏

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Season 1 – 4

Disclaimer: Lost is owned by: J.J., Damon Lindelof, Touchstone & ABC. No money being made, but after the work my co-author & beta put into this project, I'll own them money.

LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST

Prologue _(Ben POV)_

"Take your shirt off. I should have known something like this was going to happen. That's what happens when you fall for your target." Sayid leans against the doorway, removing his jacket and shirt, looks at me, "Is she dead?"

"Yes." As the tears slowly fall from his eyes, I wonder what he's thinking right at this moment. This is a lot of dead women for one man.

"Why didn't she kill you?" He has to keep talking because I have to find out what he knows. He grimaces, as I stitch his wound.

"She was trying to get information."

"What sort of information?" I ask.

"She wanted to know who I worked for. She wanted to know about you." He looks at me like I should have already known the answer to that question.

I laugh to myself. Finally I get the heart of the matter. "Of course she did." I look at him. He's crying—look at him.

"Why are you crying? Because it hurts or because you were stupid enough to care for her?"

He's a solider & torturer and look at him now: He really has a thing for blonds. I wait for an answer.

"These people don't deserve our sympathies. Need I remind you what they did last time you thought with your heart instead of your gun?" I ask, knowing it hurts. It was meant to. The look of pure hatred lets me know, I struck a nerve.

"You used that to recruit me into killing for you," he says. Maybe there is some fire left in him yet.

"Do you want to protect your friends or not, Sayid?" That one always reels him back in. "I have another name for you."

"But they know I'm after them now."

I look at him. "Good."

LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST

_(Sayid POV)_

Finally he's gone. How did I get myself into this? Of all the men in the world I'm working for Ben Linus. It's strange what revenge will do to a man. He gave me Ishmael Bakir, for that I'm in his debt. As I sit back and closed my eyes.

Where does this end? How far do I go to protect my friends? What does Ben really want from me? He says bad things have happened on the island since we left, but I don't know. Can I really trust him?

Why can't I protect the women I love? The pain in my arm will be gone soon but not from my heart. Now is not the time to think of these things. A gentle breeze blows across my face. It reminds me of her.

LOST Flashback LOST

"_You are beautiful." I said quietly so the beautiful women in question didn't wake. We never made it past the signal fire last night. _

_I could still feel her soft lips pressed against my own. "__What was that for?" I asked. But I did not wish to get my hopes up. _

"_Everyone gets a new life on this island. I'd like to start now," she said. _

_I always knew she was a smart woman.__ We found a tree and sat under it and talked for hours. As the night went on, Shannon ended up in my arms and fell asleep. Not once did I close my eyes for fear of missing something._

"_With all of your thinking and staring, I can't sleep. God, what time is it?" she asked quietly. I laughed. I was not staring._

"_Still early yet." _

_She gives me a look, which I understood very well. She wanted to know the exact time. "It's 6:15, Shannon. Go back to sleep; I'll wake you in a few hours." _

"_It's alright. I have to go anyway," she said. _

"_Go? Where?"_

_The look again. "The bathroom."_

"_Well, you 'go' and I'll gather breakfast for us. Meet me at your shelter," I was on a roll that morning and she gave me the look for the third time. "So we can eat breakfast then work on your shelter," I added. _

"_Fine," she laughed. I sat back and watched her walk away. She returned a second later and gave me a kiss on the check, "Good morning."_

_It is a very good morning. Why did I listen to Boone in the first place? Who was I kidding? I was lucky she was talking to me at all. I spoke to everyone I passed that morning. I was in a very good mood as I gathered breakfast and headed back toward her shelter._

_I saw her sitting there and staring out at the ocean. The wind blew her hair and she was relaxed and happy. I could smell her Lavender perfume. I knew I would remember this moment forever._

"_Breakfast?" I asked. The warm gentle smile I received let me know that working on her shelter was now on the bottom of my to-do list._

_We sat, our legs tangled together as we fed each other breakfast. Hurley walked past with a big smile and threw me a thumbs up. I smiled back at him._

_For the first time in so long I was happy. _

LOST End Flashback LOST

It's funny how a small breeze can remind you of such things, things that you forget. And true to my word, that is a moment I never forgot. As a calming peace washes over me, I almost forget where I am and what I'm doing here. Almost.

My next target is in L.A. At least I can go visit and take her some flowers. It's been awhile. I know she understands or at least I hope she understands. My alarm goes off and I push the button on my watch. It's time to go. I have a 6:00 am flight and I need to buy clothes.

Besides, it's too many memories for one day.

"Sayid….." I hear a soft women's voice say.

I pull my gun; all pain forgotten.

"Who's there?" No answer. "I will not repeat myself, who's there?"

As I turn around the small room ready for anything, I see a face that I knew I would never see again.

"Shannon?"

Maybe I wasn't ready for anything.

LOST

TBC…………………. Enter Lost Music here.

Author's Notes: Hello out there!! Thanks for taking time out to read my first FanFic. I could not have done any of this without my co-author I Love JaSam and my beta Faithfulwriter, for reading over this and making something you guys might actually want to read. I take all feedback, good or bad. We'll never get better if we don't know what we did wrong.

DiorNicole & I Love JaSam 2


	2. My Dead Girlfriend

Title: "When Choices Are Lost"

Author: DiorNicole & I Love JaSam 2

Beta: Faithfulwriter‏

Characters: Sayid, Shannon, Ben, Nadia, & Oceanic 6

Rating: PG13

Words: 2171

Disclaimer: Lost is owned by: J.J., Damon Lindelof, Touchstone & ABC. No money being made, but after the work my co-author & beta put into this project, I'll own them money.

Spoilers: Season 1 – 4

Summary: When Choices Are Lost, What Will A Man Do To Get Them Back? (Sayid - Centric)

LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST

Chapter 1 _(Sayid POV)_

"Shannon?" If it wasn't for the exam table I would have fallen to the floor.

She's not real! I keep saying over and over to myself. I buried her with my own two hands. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

"I'm real. Well, as real as a dead person can be." Shannon says with a flip of her hair.

"How did you know what I was thinking? No, don't answer that. You are not real."

I close my eyes tightly and hope that when I open them she's gone. I sigh. When I open them she's standing right in front of me, reaching her hand out towards my face. I move at the last minute and she pinches me. "That hurt!" She's real. "You're real!"

"I told you that I was real!" she said, her arms across her chest.

"I'm sorry."

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I do a little of both. "Shannon? Is that really you?"

"I thought we had established those facts," she says and rolls her eyes. Death sure hasn't affected her sharp tongue.

"Hey, watch it buddy! I came a long way to see you." She crossed her arms and gave me that look she was famous for in life.

"You're dead. You can't be here."

The combination of crossed arms and foot tapping is telling me that I'm pissing off my dead girlfriend. Did I just say 'My Dead Girlfriend'? I'm glad I'm sitting down.

"You know some people would be happy to see their dead girlfriend but not you. After everything you've see and done, is this really so hard to believe?" she says. She looks at me, awaiting an answer—or apparently a thought.

Maybe she right. I did see Walt and many things on that island that I can't explain…but I've lost a lot of blood today. I'm hallucinating. Shannon's not here.

"You are not hallucinating!" She said, perfectly pronouncing each word. "You haven't loss that much blood. Stop acting like a big baby!"

"I am not acting like a big baby." No, if anything death has made her tongue even sharper.

"It sure has. You want to try me?" I forgot she somehow knows what I'm thinking now, a perk of death, or a curse. I look at her cautiously. "What are you doing here?"

Her face softens and she sits down next to me. I try not to flinch but she still sees me. Shannon tries to keep the hurt from showing on her face but she could never hide such things from me it was another thing that death made sharper.

Instead of answering me she starts picking at her nail polish. I never thought the dead would wear nail polish. If anybody could find a way it would be Shannon. For the first time since she appeared she seems at a loss for words. No, she's speaking; I just can't hear her.

"Shannon, I can not hear you."

"You have to go back."

My eyes meet hers. She searched mine and I looked away. Anything she'd ask of me I'd do. But of all the things I imagined it was not that.

"I know you don't want to Sayid…" How I missed the way she says my name. She looked at me. "I miss how you say mine to."

After I really take the time to think about what she said I snap, "Why me?"

She snaps right back, "Why not you?" I forgot I do not intimidate her.

I look at her again. She's still so beautiful. "I am sorry," I say. And I am sorry for so many things.

"Yea well, I'm sorry too," she mumbles under her breath.

A warm smile spreads across her face. I know I'm not going to like her next words. "You have to go back." For some reason I believe her.

"There are things that you have to do first but you'll know when the time is right," she says.

"Such as?"

She just shrugs her shoulders. "You'll find out when you're ready."

I gather all my courage and wrap my arm around her. As soon as she in my arms again all the memories come rushing back. I've missed her so much. "I love you. I never stop loving you."

Shannon stands and grins at me, "You know the last time you told me you love me I got shot."

"Well, that is one way of looking at it." I grin back at her. I know I look like a fool.

"Well, it's time for me to go." The smile instantly falls from my face. Not again. I don't want her to go. "You said I wasn't real so what difference does it make?" That makes me smile again. "It's just for a little while. I'll see you soon."

She moves toward the door, then stops and gives me a stern look. "And we will be having a little talk about your recent activities!"

"What activities?" She just laughs and keeps on walking.

I look up when I hear her voice. "Hey, you know I love you right?" She blows me a kiss and walks through the door not waiting for my answer.

"Yes, I do."

LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST

Malibu Beach Inn Malibu, CA: Three Days Later

I'm standing on the balcony of my Hotel room, looking out at the ocean watching the sun rise. After everything I've done Allāh still lets me see such beauty. The ocean will always make me think of Shannon.

Today is a good day to take her flowers. Rose's maybe. I can't believe I saw her. My brain keeps telling me she wasn't real but my heart tells a completely different story.

I turn and look around my room. She's not there but I already knew this. I laugh to myself what would I have done if she was there.

Turning back around I start thinking about seeing Shannon. Why now after all this time. Why must I go back to the island? This thought instantly puts me in a bad mood.

My thoughts are interrupted by the ringing of my phone. I know who it is before I answer. "What?"

"Is that anyway to answer the phone, when a friend is calling?" His voice was hard, despite his cover of friendliness. He was my boss.

"I'll let you know when a friend call's me. What do you want Ben?"

"Is it done?"

The same question time and time again. "Yes, it's done." I truly hate this man. It's not for the first time I wonder how I ended up here. "Is there anything else?"

"I'll be in touch in a week." Good, I have a week to be with her. "Going to see her today?"

That makes me pause. No one knows that I visit her. "What are you talking about?"

"For someone who did not know Boone for long you sure visit his grave a lot." I should not be surprise he knows. "Did you forget I know the truth, Sayid?" I hope he doesn't expect an answer. "Your secret is safe with me. One week." And then I hear the dial tone.

I slowly walk back to the balcony hoping that will restore my good mood.

LOST Post-Island Flashback LOST

_3 Weeks After Rescue_

"_Sayid, are you ready? It's an hour and a half ride to the memorial service." _

"_Yes, I am ready." I wish I could tell her the truth. I wasn't ready then and I'm not ready now._

"_Are you sure you're ok? You have not been yourself since you found out about the Memorial service for Boone and his sister," she said softly. _

"_It's just brings back everything we went through." I hope Nadia would let it go. _

"_Okay, Sayid. When you are ready we can talk about it."_

"_Thank you." I kissed her lightly on her check. I couldn't even begin to start telling her the truth. It's just one of the many secrets that I'd carry with me to my grave._

_Malibu Memorial Garden Cemetery_

"_We're here." I must have been distracted. A whole car ride gone and I was none the wiser. I looked up and saw Hurley with Jack and Kate holding Aaron. I saw the same guilt in there eyes that I also carried with me. But there something else there that I can't put my finger on._

_I was pulled from my thoughts when Nadia put something in my hands. I looked down and there are two bunches of flowers. "I knew you were distracted so I picked those up for you."_

_I look at the flowers in my hands and asked, "Why two?"_

"_I know you didn't know Boone's sister but I thought it would be nice to also put something on her grave." I did not deserve this woman. If she knew the truth would she still be with me? "Let's go; your friends are waiting for us." Each step I took was heavier than the last as we approached the small group. _

"_Hello." I said softly, too many words could've been bad. _

_Jack was the first to speak. "Nadia, Sayid, I wish we were seeing each other under better circumstances." There really was not much to say. I just wanted this day to be over._

"_Let's go dudes." Hurley said. It was a reminder of reality, of why we were there. _

_We walked away and Jack called my name. "Sayid." The rest of the group kept walking but I turned around to see what he wanted._

"_I know this has to be hard on you, Sayid."_

"_We choose the cover story, Jack. We can't take it back now."_

"_I'm sorry I never thought…"_

_I cut him off. "Jack, stop! I won't do this with you now. Let's just get this over with okay?"_

_I turned and started walking until I reached the people that stood at the two tombstones. There only about 30 people today, less than I would have thought._

"_Is everything ok?" I jumped slightly at the sound of her voice._

"_Yes." The service started shortly after._

_I tuned everything out. I had to so I could make it through. I was standing there at Boone and Shannon's Memorial service, acting as if I never knew her. Never saw her smiling face. Never loved her. A women's voice pulled me from my thoughts. It was Sabrina._

"_People asked me when we first heard about the plane crash, why aren't you having a Memorial Service for your children? I told people 'my children aren't dead. They're coming home and I'll be able to yell at Shannon for making me worry.' It was all her fault they were on the plane anyway. Then, they found the plane at the bottom of the ocean, people asked me again. Once again, I told them my children weren't dead. I would know, I would feel it. 'They'll be home you'll see.'" Sabrina took a breath and wiped her eyes before talking again._

"_I knew they would walk through the door any day. I would ask Boone and Shannon for forgiveness for everything I put them through. The days turned into weeks then weeks into months. It was my fault they were on that plane. If I had of done right by both my children, they would be home right now, alive. When I turned on the news and saw there were survivors from Oceanic Flight 815, I knew my children were coming home. I was right they were alive."_

"_When my phone rang, I knew it was Boone calling to tell me they were ok and coming home. But it was Oceanic, telling me Shannon never made it off the plane and Boone die shortly after."_

_The woman paused and pushed back her tears._

"_My children are dead. I never got the chance to tell them I was sorry. I hope when Shannon took her last breath she knew she was loved." Sabrina placed a white rose on each grave. The priest said the final prayer and people proceeded past the tombstones, each one placing flowers until we were the last people left._

"_I'll wait for you by the car."_

"_Thank You." Nadia handed me the flowers and left us alone._

"_Dude, she was loved," Hurley said, coming to stand next to me. "She was a little crazy but we loved her." I smiled at that. _

"_Shannon deserved so much more. I made her cry as much as I made her laugh. I love you, Shannon. I always will." I laid both bunches of flowers on her grave and walked away. No one stopped me. There was nothing more to say._

LOST End Flashback LOST

I sit down in one of the lounge chairs on the balcony and try to calm myself. It should be no surprise Ben is aware of my visits to see Shannon. I do not really care.

I guess I must have fallen asleep because I suddenly feel someone standing over me. I open my eyes and see Shannon. Her hair blew in the breeze. "So, you ready for that little chat now?"

Allāh help me.

LOST

TBC……………………………….. Enter Lost Music here.

Author: As always I thank my co-author and beta. Without them I could have never done this. I want to thank anyone whose took the time out to read my story.

A very Special Thank You To**: DarkAngelmi818 & arni06. **You guys were my very first reviews (well my only reviews) and I'm truly grateful.

DiorNicole


	3. Nail Polish And Guns

Title: When Choices Are Lost

Author: DiorNicole & I Love JaSam 2

Beta: Faithfulwriter‏

Main Characters: Sayid & Shannon

Minor Characters: Ben, Nadia, & Oceanic 6

Pairings: Sayid & Nadia, Sayid & Elsa, Sayid & Shannon

Rating: PG-13

Words: 2652

Disclaimer: Lost is owned by: J.J., Damon Lindelof, Touchstone & ABC. No money being made, but after the work my co-author & beta put into this project, I'll own them money.

Spoilers: Season 1 – 4

Note: AU (Follows Cannon until "The Economist.")

Summary: When Choices Are Lost, What Will A Man Do To Get Them Back? (Sayid - Centric)

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

Chapter 2 (Sayid POV)

Allāh help me.

"You can do this the easy way or the hard way." The smile she gives me lets me know I need to choose the one she likes.

"What choice do I really have, Shannon? I'll choose the easy way." She kisses me and goes to sit on the other lounge chair. She's breath-taking in her light pink sun dress with bare feet and her hair back in a soft bun with a few pieces framing her face.

"Knew you were easy." I can't help but to laugh at that. I wish we could just stay like this and enjoy the moment but I know she's here for a reason. I'm starting to come to the conclusion that I'm not crazy; I'm really seeing Shannon.

"Well, it's about time you start believing me."

"Your ability to know what I'm thinking is unnerving," I turn my head so I'm looking at her.

"Your point?" she says with a smirk on her face.

I missed this back and forth banter with Shannon. "There was no point—just an observation."

"So, Mr. Jarrah, anything you care to tell me?" I can see the mischief in her eyes. No matter what way I answer this question I'm in trouble.

"What is it you want to know, Ms. Rutherford?" Two can play this game. I wasn't one to give in easily.

"Elsa reminded you of me? Elsa, that was her name correct?" I know I have a stunned expression on my face. "What exactly did we have in common, Sayid?" How do I answer this question without pissing her off? "I'm waiting," she says after my silence of trying to avoid answering something that is really going to piss her off.

"I knew going in she was a means to an end. I needed her boss and she was the easiest to achieve my goal." I stop for a moment to look over at Shannon; she's looking out at the ocean. I wish I could stop talking and just enjoy being with her. But I know she not having any of that.

"Elsa was beautiful, smart, funny…"

Shannon cuts me off. "I get your point. Kept it moving," she says fast, with a glare. I laugh at that.

" made me forget the things I had done, if only for a little while." I walk over to where Shannon is and sit on the floor of the balcony right in front of her. "Like meeting you on the island, you helped me forget who I use to be."

I lifted Shannon's feet so they were sitting in my lap. "She reminded me of you Shannon, but she would have never been you."

"So you and Elsa never had plans for a Saturday alone with some rope?" I know this is Shannon's way of asking me once and for all, how I felt about Elsa.

"There's only one woman I want to spend a Saturday night alone with and rope being involved." She lets out a content sigh an leans back in the chair. We sit quietly for a little while before I notice she has something in her hand. When I look, I see it's a bottle of nail polish.

"You might as well—since you're down there." I take the polish and start to paint her toes. I have no idea what I am doing.

"It's okay." I smile my thanks at her for understanding. "If you mess them up you'll just do them over." Maybe not so understanding. We sit quietly for a few minutes before Shannon starts talking again.

"You have to find everyone so you can go back to the island." I'm starting to notice Shannon only brings up this subject when I'm distracted. But my intentions are to handle it much better than I did last time.

I stop painting her toes. "Do not take this the wrong way, Shannon but why do I have to find the others? Why do we have to go back?"

"No one told you to stop painting. And you missed a spot." No, my Shannon has not changed one bit.

I notice her picking at her fingernail in a attempt to avoid my question. "You're stalling now, Shannon. It's your turn to answer my question."

"I'm not stalling." I give her a look that says otherwise. "Maybe I am." I just continue to paint until she's ready to talk.

"I don't really have all the answers but I know you have to go back to make everything right. Our plane was never supposed to crash. Oceanic Flight 815 was supposed to arrive at LAX on time without any problems. None of us were supposed to die. Desmond was supposed to push the button to keep all this from happening."

I finish painting Shannon's toes and put the top back on the polish. This is a lot to take in at one time. I want to believe everything she saying and run back to that island if it means I can change everything that's has happened. But rationally I know it's not that simple. How can just going back to the island stop the plane from crashing?

"Sayid, I know this is hard for you to accept. The universe or fate has a way of correcting its mistakes."

"A mistake? People died in that crash! And everything we suffered through afterwards, fighting just to stay alive for another day…Losing you. Now you tell me it was a mistake?"

Shannon leans over so she's right in my face. Not even noticing she had stood up from her seat. "I asked you this once and I'll ask you again: do you believe in me?" I want to believe in her, it's just all so much. I also remember what happened last time I didn't believe in her. I think about how that turned out; she was right and died in the process.

"Yes, I believe in you Shannon. But this is too much. It's all just to…" She cuts me off with a soft finger on my lips.

"It won't be too much if I help you carry it." I remember telling her that so long ago. And for now it's enough. She kisses me and sits back in the chair. "And for right now Sayid, it's enough that you believe in me."

At this point what do I really have to lose? "What do I need to do to get back to the island?"

"First, you have to find Charles Widmore." A perfect opportunity for me to do what needs to be done.

"That will not be a problem." I say with a hard edge in my voice that even surprises me.

Shannon snaps at me. "You will not kill him."

"Why? He deserves it for what he did." I don't understand. Ben and now Shannon have both told me I can't kill Widmore.

"Give me a reason not to." She's quiet for a minute.

"Widmore has just as big a part in all this as you and the others do. I'm asking you Sayid, for me, do not kill him."

"Why do I need to find him?" I hope I can keep my word.

Shannon turns her head before she starts talking. "There's something you need to know that only he can tell you." This seem strange if she knows why not just tell me. "It's something that you would only believe if you hear from him."

"What could it be that I would believe a killer over you Shannon?" There has to be something I don't understand.

"Just trust me on this one Sayid." Shannon takes her feet out of my lap and stands up. I know this means it's time for her to leave. I stay where I'm so I don't have to watch her walk away. "Just remember no matter what happens Sayid, I love you."

"I love you to, my Shannon." Without looking up I know she's gone.

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

London ~ Widmore Tower – Penthouse: Three Weeks Later

Sitting in the dark waiting for Widmore to arrive home, I have to keep reminding myself I promised Shannon I would not kill him. Thinking about Shannon reminds me she hasn't been around much lately.

When she does appear most I am asleep. When I wake she just sitting there watching me. I always ask what's wrong and she just tells me to go back to sleep and that she loves me. I tried to ask her about Widmore again and she just told me 'you'll find out soon enough.' I know this has something to do with the reason she's staying away but I just don't understand. I wish she would just tell me.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I hear his keys in the door. I removed my gun and once again remind myself not to kill him. I hear him slowly making his way to the living room where I sit waiting for him.

"Stop where you are, Mr. Widmore," I say once he's in the living room.

He does not look surprised to find me in his home. "Sayid."

"Take a seat on the sofa." When he sits down I have to keep reminding myself not to kill this man. "You do not seem surprised to see me."

"I knew you would come sooner or later when you found out the truth." What is he talking about? He must have seen the question on my face.

Suddenly he starts laughing. "I guess Ben didn't tell you. I know you're not here to kill me. You here to find out the truth about your precious Nadia." Before I can stop myself I'm on my feet ready to shoot.

"Don't you dare say her name again, no matter what Ben says, I will kill you."

Widmore stops laughing but the smile never leaves his face. "You really think she forgave you for torturing her Sayid?" He starts quietly laughing again. "It was so easy to get her to work for me." My thoughts are racing.

"Nadia would never work for someone like you. It's a lie." It has to be lie.

"It's the truth. Why would I lie at this point? I know what really happened on that island and on the freighter, Sayid. I wanted the island and the 'Oceanic 6' took it from me." Widmore gets up from his chair and makes himself a drink.

"We didn't take anything from you."

He keeps on talking like I never said anything. "I knew eventually the 'Oceanic 6' would have to go back to the island and when that time came I would be right there. The only problem was I needed inside information and a way to get it. I knew I could never get it from Ben or any of you freely. So, I decided to plant a spy that you all would trust."

"It didn't take me long to find her and convince her it was in her best interest to supply me with the information that I needed."

"She would never do that to me." Not my Nadia.

"It's true. Never be surprise what a women scorned will do." He laughed and moved around the room as if I wasn't there with a gun. "The problem was you never told her what really happened. She tried everything she could to get the truth out of you but nothing worked. You stuck to that cover story and she knew you were lying."

I feel myself going cold inside. I forgot how well Nadia knew me. "Why kill her if she was working for you?"

"I started to realize you were never going to tell her anything. As long as she was alive your thoughts would never be on finding the island." What kind of sick game are Ben and Widmore playing? What does any of this have to do with me?

A startlingly thought hits me both Ben and Widmore think I'm the key to getting them back to the island. "Is there anything else? I've had a long day." I start walking towards the door. I have to get away from him now or I will kill him. "Sayid."

I stop. "What?"

"Maybe next time you should learn to pick your women better." Without thinking I turn and shot him. I watch the blood as it slides down his arm. I see the shocked look on his face. "You weren't supposed to do that."

"Ben said I couldn't kill you. He never said anything about hurting you." With those last words I walk out the door.

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

London ~ Hilton London Hyde Park: Same Night

I walk into my room dropping my clothes as I go. I need a shower and I hope it can wash this whole night away. As much as I wish Widmore was lying, I know at this point he has nothing to lose.

I walk into the bathroom and make the water in the shower as hot as I can stand then step in.

I never thought Nadia was capable of doing something like that. What could I have done differently to change what happened. From the first moment I saw Nadia standing outside the press conference it was a lie. Everything we built together. Would telling her the truth have of changed anything? I can't believe I never saw any of this. I stand in the shower letting the water wash away my tears.

It was just easier not to notice anything that could remind me of the island, of the people we left behind, of Shannon. Maybe if I had looked beyond myself I could have done something. Shannon thought I would have not believed her if she told me all of this. I am sorry to think she was probably right. I hope she comes tonight—even if she doesn't say a word. I just need her close.

I'm brought out of my thoughts when the hot water finally runs out. I get out of the shower and wrap the towel around my waist. I just want to sleep so this day can be over. And then, I chuckle. I think about the mess of my clothes all over the floor. Shannon would have hated that and that makes me laugh.

I walk out of the bathroom an notice my cloths aren't on the floor. I look at the dresser and notice they are sitting there folded. Shannon's here.

Shannon is sitting on the side of my bed quietly watching me. She doesn't say anything as I walk towards the bed and lie down and put my head in her lap. Once she starts playing with my hair, I start to cry.

"I'm sorry, Sayid."

"You have nothing to be sorry for Shannon. What's next?" I ask her hoping that will take my mind off of what I found out today.

"The island will only let you back if everyone's goes together. It's not going to be easy to convince them Sayid but it's the only way." I just nod my head and continue to lay here with Shannon.

As we fall into a comfortable silence I start to think about the battle ahead. I still have my doubts but I have faith in Shannon and for today that's enough.

I hate to interrupt this peaceful moment but after everything I found out today there's only one thing I'm unclear on. I turn so I'm looking at her face. "Shannon?" She opens her eyes.

"Why did I need to know those things about Nadia?" Shannon's quiet for so long I think she's not going to answer me.

"You had to know the truth." She says simply and closes her eyes again.

I know it has to be more than that. "Did you care to elaborate Shannon?" She shakes her head no.

I know she hiding something and I plan on finding out what. The scary part is she made no comment about that last thought.

TBC…………………………………….Enter Lost Music

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

I would like to take the time to say thank you to everyone who's took the time out to read my story.  I know you could have been doing anything else so thanks.

TudorQueen ~ Thank you for your kinds words.  And I hope this story goes were your hoping it does.


	4. Island Connection

Title: When Choices Are Lost

Author: DiorNicole

Beta: Faithfulwriter‏

Main Characters: Sayid & Shannon

Minor Characters: Ben, Nadia, & Oceanic 6

Pairings: Sayid & Nadia, Sayid & Elsa, Sayid & Shannon

Rating: PG-13

Words: 2107

Disclaimer: Lost is owned by: J.J., Damon Lindelof, Touchstone & ABC. No money being made, but after the work my co-author & beta put into this project, I'll own them money.

Spoilers: Season 1 – 4

Note: AU (Follows Cannon until "The Economist.")

Summary: When Choices Are Lost, What Will A Man Do To Get Them Back? (Sayid - Centric)

**LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST**

Chapter 3 (Sayid POV)

South Korea ~ Paik Heavy Industries: Two Week Later

"You can do this." I say again to myself as I walk inside. After a twenty minute pace in front of the building and a mantra of repeated lines, I made it to the elevator. I say it again for reassurance as I ride to the 50th floor. I don't believe that Sun will see me but Shannon kept telling me this would be the best way. Once the evaluator reaches the 50th floor and the doors open, I'm tempted to hit the button for the Lobby.

"I know you can do this," Shannon's voice softly floats to my ears. Knowing Shannon was watching over me, I step off the evaluator and walk to the receptionist desk.

"Good Morning, welcome to Paik Heavy Industries. How may I help you sir?" The receptionist asks me in perfect English which surprises me.

"Good Morning. I would like see Sun-Hwa Kwon."

"Do you have an appointment sir?"

"No, I do not." The receptionist gives me a "and-who-do-you-think–you-are" look. "Could you just tell her Sayid Jarrah is here to see her?"

"One moment sir," she looks at me like I'm wasting her time. "Miss Kwon you have a visitor in the lobby that doesn't have an appointment." She says it with a smug look on her face.

"His name is Mr. Jarrah." She's quiet for a long time before she says anything else.

"Yes, Miss. Kwon." As she hangs up the phone there's an unreadable expression on her face. "Mr. Jarrah, please have a seat. Miss. Kwon finishing up a few thing then she'll be right with you.

"Thank you." As I sit down and wait for Sun, I notice the receptionist's expression never changes. I wonder what was said while she was on the phone.

**LOST ~ Post-Island Flashback ~ LOST**

_Irvine, California ~ Jarrah/Jazeem Residence: 2 Day After Memorial Service_

"_Sayid, please talk to me. You have been so quiet for the last two days," I looked into Nadia's pleading eyes but I just couldn't bring myself to open my mouth. What would I say to her? _

_How could I say it was all a lie? That I knew and loved Shannon? That I can still hear the gunshot and see Shannon's face when she died in my arms? That I remember the feel of the dirt on my hands as I dug her grave?_

_How do I tell her that the woman I loved was forgotten by the people with us, like she never existed? I remember that it was Charlie who made me realize that. "You know with Shannon being dead and all do you really need a shelter with so much privacy for just you? Was thinking you could let Claire and Aaron have it. You know with her having the baby and…"_

"_Charlie! How could you?" Claire exclaimed from behind us. He looked at her with a shrug of his shoulders. "Oh God, I'm so sorry Sayid. I would never I mean I could never take that shelter…"_

"_I__t's okay, Claire."_

"_Thank you," Claire said with tears in her eyes. She hadn't forgotten Shannon._

_Claire grabbed Charlie by the arm and drug him down the beach. Charlie voice floated back to me. "What? She's dead and you have TurpinHead…"_

"_Shut up, Charlie! How dare you…and my son's name is Aaron."_

_No. I can't tell Nadia any of that. We had made this lie after all; now we had to live it. "There's nothing to say. I'll be okay soon." I tried to reassure her with a smile. I hoped it worked._

_Before she had a chance to say anything else the phone rang. "I'll get it." She picked the phone up from the base. "Hello," Nadia covered the phone with her hand and looked at me with her sad eyes. "It's Sun." She handed me the phone and walked into the kitchen. "I'll give you your privacy."_

_I wait until Nadia's out the room. "Hello Sun."_

"_Hello Sayid." Sun said sadly, "I am sorry I could not make it to the Memorial Service." I had almost forgotten she was not there. "I could not be around him." _

"_It is okay, Sun." Sun wants nothing to do with Jack. He could never understand the burden that Sun and I carry with us. "I do understand. How are you doing, Sun?" _

"_Does it get any easier, Sayid?"_

_My first response was to tell her yes it does but I know she wants the truth. "No. I can go days without thinking of her and other days she's the first and last thing on my mind. Maybe one day it won't be so bad but that is not today."_

_We sat quietly for a moment before she spoke again. "I asked Shannon once if she thought we were being punished by fate for the secrets we kept and the lies we told." I can hear her crying softly. "Claire cut her off before she could answer but she found me later and told me "I don't know if fate is punishing us or not Sun. If that plane had never crashed I would never have meet Sayid. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me.'"It seemed like she wanted to say more but she just smiled at me and went to find you. I've never forgotten that conversation with her."_

"_No, she was the best thing that ever happened to me. Shannon made me want to live and love again."_

"_Our punishment is living without them." Sun's crying heavier now. "Living is the hard part." Without anther word Sun hung up the phone._

_Without any thought I took the only picture I have of Shannon out of my wallet. It was the one of her and Boone. I found a store to edit the picture so it would only have Shannon's image in it. I sat in that chair for hours just looking at that picture and thinking about the truth that Sun poured into my life. _

"_Living is the hard part," I said quietly._

"_Sayid?" Without any thought I stuffed the picture into my pocket. _

"_Yes, Nadia?"_

"_Dinner is ready." I had to be more careful or next time I might not be so lucky._

**LOST ~ End Flashback ~ LOST**

I'm brought back to the present when I hear my name being called. "Mr. Jarrah, you can follow me." I stand quickly and follow her to a large conference room. "Miss Kwon will be right with you."

"Thank you." I walk over to the windows to admire the view of the harbor. When ever I'm around water it makes me think about Shannon.

"Sayid."

When I turn and look at Sun I can see that the years and secrets have taken there toll on her. Most people would never realize it but looking into her eyes I see the same pain I carry with me.

"Hello, Sun." She walks over to me and gives me a hug. I just hope she's still happy to see me when I tell her why I'm here. "I'm happy to see you. It's been far too long."

"Yes, it has been to long." Sun say's as she take a seat at the conference table. "I'm sorry about Nadia."

"Thank you." I say with an edge in my voice. Sun gives me a curious look. "I am sorry. Congratulations on Ji Yeon. I'm really glad you have her." I turn and continue to look at the harbor.

"Thank you, Sayid." We fall into a comfortable silence. I know Sun wants to know why I'm here.

"Stop stalling, Sayid. Do what you came for." I hear Shannon's voice again. I can just imagine her standing there rolling her eyes at me. She is right though.

I go and sit next to Sun and before I can say anything Sun looks at me. "I know why you're here, Sayid."

I'm totally floored. How could she know? "What are you talking about Sun?"

"We have to go back to the island." I don't know what to think. I never expected it to be this easy. Maybe Shannon knew this would happen and that's why she sent me here first. A sudden thought hits me.

"Sun, how did you know we needed to go back and why are you so calm about it?" She seems to be taking it better than I did.

She gives me a small smile. "Jin told me." Sun stops talking and looks out the window. There are tears in her eyes, she turns back around and continues to talk. "Right after Ji Yeon was born, Hurley and I visited Jin's grave. That night when I put Ji Yeon in her crib I felt a presence in the room with me when but when I looked around I saw nothing. While I was getting ready for bed I felt a presence again when I turn around Jin was just standing there."

Before she can say anything else I stand and walk back over to the windows. It seems we share a lot of secrets. I should feel relived that Sun saw Jin—it means I'm not going crazy—but for some reason I'm not. "What's wrong, Sayid?"

"Shannon told me."

"So, you do not think I am crazy then?" Sun's laughing softly when she says this.

"No, you are not crazy. Shannon visits me often. She's the reasons I came here today." I stop talking when I notice the smile leaves her face. "What's wrong. Sun?"

"How will we convince the others? You and I have reasons to believe we need to go back but what about Hurley, Kate and Jack?"

My thoughts echoed her. "I don't know Sun but we'll find a way."

The smile returns to her face. My answer must have been okay with her. "So, what is our plan to get back to the island?"

"Ben and Widmore seem to think I'm the key to getting them back to the island. I don't know what's so special about me but I plan on using it to our advantage." And I know Shannon will be there for me every step of the way.

"It's because of Shannon," Sun's says as she stands next to me.

I turn and look into her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"Jin told me I had to find everyone so we could return to the island but you were important. You have a connection to the island Sayid. One that none of the rest of us have. Ben and Widmore both know this; that's why they need you so much." I don't understand.

"We all have a connection to the island, Sun. What's so different about me?"

I see Sun look at her watch. "I have a meeting that I cannot miss Sayid. I will come to America to help you convince the others just let me know when your ready." Sun gives me anther hug and starts to walk out of the conference room.

She never answered my question. "Sun?"

When she turns to face me she has a big grin, "Yes. Sayid."

"Come in two weeks," she nods. "And you never answered my question."

"It's Shannon." Sun says simply and walks out the door.

**LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST**

Malibu Memorial Garden Cemetery ~ A Week Later

It's a quiet morning at the cemetery as I remove the flowers from my last visit and place the new ones on her grave. There's a stone bench near her grave where I take a seat and continue to think about what Sun told me. I'm trying my best to understand what's so special about our connection verses anyone else's. Jin and Sun were married so why not her?

"Sun will be here in a week and once she arrives well have to find the others. I don't know if I'll be able to visit you again. I'm sorry about that."

"You know, you have an easier time talking to that tombstone then to me," Shannon said from behind me. She sits down beside me and rests her head on my shoulder."You have not been around much lately." When ever she's not around much I think there's something she hiding. "Does it have anything to do with what Sun told me?"Shannon slowly wraps her arms around my waist and lets out a loud sigh. "It's part of the reason." She stops talking again. Please, Shannon just talk to me. I say it hoping she will hear and listen. "The difference between Sun, Jin and us is that I died on the island. I'm a part of the it now."

"And you're a part of me." I take Shannon's hand and place it over my heart. "Is that why I'm the key to getting back to the island?" She just shakes her head yes.

"Your love for me keeps you tied to the island. Jin died on the freighter so he's not part of the island like I am. There's a difference there." I turn my head so I'm looking into her eyes. "Sayid, you're running out of time. You have to find everyone before Widmore does."

"I promise you, Shannon: I'll find them in time." We sit there for the rest of themorning in silence and I pray I can keep me promise to her.

TBC………………………Enter Lost Music


	5. The London Bridge

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

Chapter 4 (Sayid POV)

Malibu Memorial Garden Cemetery ~ The Same Day

At this moment I could almost forget that Shannon's dead. She's been in the same position for the last hour with her head lying on my shoulder. I lost feeling in my arm some time ago but that simple feeling makes it more real.

Suddenly, she stands. "I have to go." Shannon gives me a quick kiss and before I had a chance to process what was happening, she's gone.

"Good morning, Sayid." I hear a smug voice directly behind me. "Image me finding you here." He's the reason Shannon left in such a hurry. If I didn't need him to get back to the island I would kill him.

Without turning around to face him, I speak. "What are you doing here, Ben?" I see him moving in my peripheral vision and notice he has something in his hand. As he walks up to Shannon's grave, I make out the flowers. "How dare you?" I snap around.

"I thought you were supposed to bring flowers when you visited one's grave?" When Ben turns to face me, I'm standing in front of him. The smug smile leaves his face and I can see the fear in his eyes-for just a moment-before he puts his mask back on. "I only came to pay my respect." He walks past me and sits on the bench. "Shannon's the reason we can go back to the island after all."

"I will only tell you once never say her name again," I tell him in a very quiet voice.

"What's wrong, Sayid?" I can hear the fear in his voice even though his trying to hide it. "The last time I heard that voice was right before you decided to torture me." I briefly look over my shoulder at Ben. "But I am telling the truth this time." Before I turn back around I give him an eye roll that Shannon would be proud of. "She is the reason we get to go back to the island."

I'm starting to realize this is all a game to him and Widmore. I should be upset but I'm not. They need me as much as I need them. "Yes, Shannon is the reason we can return to the island and you hate that fact."

"You're correct. I hate that your love for her is the only way for **me** to get back." All traces of his earlier fear are gone and replaced with anger. "I gave everything to the island-I should be able to return whenever**I** am ready. And I shouldn't have been forced to wait around until you got a clue," Ben adds with a sneer.

"The fact still remains you need me to get back," I turn to face Ben once again, "And whether we like each other or not, we have to work together to accomplish our goal."

We stand there completely quiet for a few minutes. "You're right," I think we finally understand each other. "You have to find everyone before Widmore does, thanks to your little stunt." I laugh at the fact shooting someone is consider a stunt now. "We have to get back to the island on our terms, not his. He can't be trusted and now, thanks to you, Sayid, he's out for blood and we still need him to find Desmond."

I ignore his comments about Widmore, "Sun will be here in a week and we'll meet with Jack and Kate then and Hurley's still in Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute."

"That's good that you know where everyone is but if you can find them that easy so can he. It won't be safe for the six of you to stay together here in California. You're going to need to find a safe house somewhere until every thing's ready."

Even with the threat of Charles Widmore hanging over me, I don't regret what I did. He deserved it. "How long do we have?"

"You have two weeks to find everyone and get them to the safe house. Once everyone's there I'll make the call to Widmore. He'll have one week to meet us." I wonder if a week is enough time. "It's now or never and he knows that Sayid. He'll make it in time." Ben answered my silent question. "It's been fun." He stands and starts to walk through the grave yard.

I know this will be the last time I'll ever get to come here. I take the flowers Ben put on her grave an place them on Boone's grave. The next time I visit her grave I'll be back on the island. "Goodbye Shannon, Ana Behibek."

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

Lake Havasu City, AZ (CA/AZ Boarder) London Bridge ~ A Week Later

We decided to meet Jack and Kate in a place where no one would think to look for us. We didn't have a lot of time so Sun picked a random place on the map that would be still be close to California.

She thought this place was interesting because they had a London Bridge. We later found out "The London Bridge" was built in 1831 over the River Thames in London and was purchased by Robert P. McCulloch in 1968. Over the next several years McCulloch had the bridge dismantle, move and reconstruct Lake Havasu City.

"Do you think they'll show Sayid?" Sun asks.

I've been asking myself that for the last 15 minutes. "If they don't show today we'll have to find them before Widmore does." We stand there quietly for a few more minutes before we hear raised voices behind us.

We turn and see Jack and Kate walking towards us yelling. "Jack! What are you doing here?" Several people around them have stop to look.

"I could ask you the same question Kate!" Jack notice that there drawing attention to them and lowers his voice. "Sayid told me he needed to see me. Trust me I didn't know you were going to be here." They still hadn't notice Sun and me yet.

"Sun called me and said she was coming to American and she really needed to talk to me. She wouldn't tell me what it was about or why we had to meet here." They finally stop talking and look up to see us.

Kate walks over gives us both a hug. "I'm so happy to see both of you it's been so long." Jack stays a step or two behind Kate. Looking at Jack I wonder what has happened to him. He looks as though he hasn't shaved since we left the island and I can smell the alcohol coming off him in waves.

He barely looks at me and refuses to look at Sun. "Sayid."

"Hello, Jack." Since Jack first noticed Sun and me his whole disposition has changed.

"Will you not speak to me, Jack?" Sun asks angrily.

He speaks to Sun but never looks her in the eyes. "Hello, Sun." I still wonder why people thought he was such a great leader.

"With the pleasantries out of the way, why did you guys need to see us?" Kate asks looking as though she rather be anywhere then standing here with Jack. I wonder what happened between them.

We decided Sun should be the one to open the conversation maybe they might receive the news better from her. "We have to go back." Sun says a voice that holds no argument.

They both answer at the same time. "No, I'm not going back!" Kate says looking as though she ready to run. "Yes, it's about time someone realizes that." Jack says practically crying. It doesn't even shock me this time when they know what we're talking about.

Sun and I look at each other in shock. This was not the response we were expecting. Jack's crying when he starts to talk. "We have to go back. We shouldn't have ever left. When ever I close my eyes I see all their faces and hear their voices." Before I could stop him, Jack has Sun in a crushing hug. "Oh God, I'm so sorry Sun. It should have been me to die on that freighter." People are starting to stare again.

"Jack, stop!" Kate's yelling is drawing more attention.

"I forgive you Jack." Sun tells Jack and he starts to quiet down. He lets Sun go and she gives him some tissues from her purse.

Jack's much calmer now. "I'm really sorry you guys. You just don't understand what a relief this is for me. I know in my heart we have to go back." Now we just have to convince Kate. We all turn at the same time to look at her.

She's shaking her head no before we say anything. "Jack's been trying to convince me to help him find the island for the last six months. I'm never going back and there nothing you can say to me to change my mind." We should have meant them separately maybe Kate would have been more willing to listen. "You have Jack, you don't need me. Just leave my son and me alone." With that she starts walking away.

"Your son!" Sun snaps at Kate. Kate turns to face Sun and before she can even say anything Sun's talking. "Let's not forget that Claire is Aaron's mother not you."

"I know that Sun and I think about it every day. But it's my job to protect him now and I'm not going back."

I speak before Sun can. "If you want to protect Aaron you'll stay and listen to what we have to say." Kate looks worried now. "You and Aaron can come back to the island with us or go back with Charles Wildmore." I knew this would sound harsh but it was the truth. "And trust me he doesn't care which way you go back."

Jack asks. "What are you talking about, Sayid?"

"Ben and Widmore both want back on that island and for some reason they need us all to get back." Sun looks over at me she knows I'm leaving some things out. "If Widmore hasn't already soon he will start searching for us. The only way to find the island now is for the six off us to be together. And he doesn't care what he has to do to get us either. So, whether you want to go back or not, Kate, you really don't have a choice."

I think Jack's hope is that going back will make all the guilt go away. "When do we go back Sayid?" At least Jack's convinced.

"Once were all together at the safe house..."

Kate cuts me off. "People searching for us? Safe houses? You expect me to put my child in the middle of all of this?"

Surprisingly, Jack answers her before I can. "Did you not hear what Sayid just said, Kate? Look at everything Widmore has done so far to get to the island..."

"As I was saying once were all together at the safe house, Ben will contact Widmore and let him know he has a week to meet us."

"Okay, I'll go." I think Kate's finally realizing how much danger we're really in. "Have you already convinced Hurley?"

I think I'll make that trip on my own. "I will go to get Hurley once the four of you have left for the safe house." Sun looks at me surprised.

"I don't think it would be a good idea to leave the two of them alone for to long." I say quietly so only Sun can hear me and already there fussing again. "Listen, we don't have time for the fussing. Our lives are in danger. Could you please just put your difference aside?" Neither answer me question verbally they just shake their heads in agreement.

"You have two days to get everything you need and we'll meet at Kate's home so we can help with Aaron. The safe house is in Hawaii but the rest of our journey will be in a very cold climate."

"We'll be ready." Jack says as he and Kate start to walk away.

"Sayid, we have been very lucky so far, I fear things will change soon." Sun put my fear into words.

TBC..............................Lost Music Here


	6. Detailed Surveillance

**LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST**

Chapter 5 (Sayid POV)

California ~ Outside Of Santa Rosa Mental Health: The Same Day

After leaving Kate and Jack we went back to Sun's Hotel so she could pack her things and go stay with Kate. It was our way of making sure she didn't change her mind. My attentions were to go and pack my own things and go take a look around the Hospital.

When I first arrive at Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute everything seems to be okay but I decide to sit for an hour or so just to make sure. Right when I was planning to leave, I noticed a dark figure moving in the trees. At first I assumed it was just a patient trying to break out. As I watch it, I notice it was not trying to run away but pacing in the same spot. I watched the figure continue to pace for about 45 minutes before I decided to go see if I could find anything out.

Quietly, I walk through the trees surrounding the Hospital trying to get close enough to the person to see if I could find out any information. When I started to get closer, I could hear a male voice talking to someone. I continue to move until I'm close enough to hear him without being seen.

"Reyes is still in the nut Hospital and none the wiser I've been watching him for the last week." I wish I could hear the other side of his conversation but I'll have to be satisfied with what I can hear.

"So, when does Widmore want me to grab the fatso?" Sun was right things have changed very suddenly. This is not good at all.

"I wonder what's so special about these people. I'm not complaining but we're going through a lot of trouble just to watch them." He starts to laugh. "I know man I wish I had Sanchez's post to. That Austen chick is a sweet piece. The things I could do to her." They were watching Kate and Aaron, also. I have to get the four of them out of the country now.

"He just needs to grab the three he already has locations on and smoke the rest out." He's silent again. "It's all crazy if you ask me. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I know we at least have a few more days. They want locations for us all before they decide to take us hostage. It's a pretty safe bet that they don't know Jack and Sun are with Kate now.

With that knowledge I make my way back to the car so I can go prepare myself for this trip. As I head away from the Hospital, I call Sun to warn her about this new development. The phone rings several times before Sun answers. "Hello." She sounds out of breath.

"Is everything okay, Sun?" I'm starting to get nervous now. "Everything is okay. I was just playing with Aaron while Kate packs. What is wrong Sayid?"

There's no easy way to tell her all I have found out. "Widmore has people watching Hurley, Kate and Aaron. And there trying to locate the rest of us."

"How did you find out?" I can hear Sun walking around. Before I can answer her question she starts to talk again. "Sayid, wait until I go in the room with the others that way you will not have to repeat yourself." Sun's tells Jack and Kate the information I gave her so far. "You're on the speaker phone now; you can start."

I tell them what I saw and overheard. "Widmore has us under detailed surveillance. At least, half of us."

There all deathly quietly. I understand what there feeling. "This is not good Sayid. What are we going to do?" Jack asks.

"There's not much we can do. Soon, they will realize that Kate and Aaron are not alone. We've been lucky so far that they haven't noticed the two of you yet but I don't hold hope that will last much longer." I have a plan but I don't know how we're going to make it work. "I want the four of you gone tonight."

"I still haven't finish packing for Aaron and myself," Kate tells everyone. "I can't just drop everything and run off in the middle of the night!"

"Kate that might be the only way to keeps us all safe," Sun tells her.

"None of you can take an Oceanic flight to Hawaii. It will draw to much attention to you. And Widmore could start checking the flight records." I don't know how many options that leaves them but we have to find a way.

"I have an idea, Sayid" I can hear Sun smiling through the phone. "I have a Business Associate who lives here in California. He owns a private jet." I let that hope creep up. We might just be able to pull this off. "I will call to find out if he's in the states and if he can fly us to Hawaii."

"Make the call Sun. If he can't maybe he can send you to someone who can. That solves one problem. You still have to find away to get to the airport unnoticed." The hope left again. It was starting to make me nauseous, the way it creeped up and down my throat like vile.

"I have an idea." Finally, Kate's trying to be helpful. "One of my neighbors has a mini van. She works near the Airport. Maybe I can convince her to take us."

At least we have something that resembles a plan. "Make it happen. Call me once the arrangements have been made."

"How are you and Hurley going to get to Hawaii?" Jack reminds me that I still have to find a way to get to there.

"Don't worry we'll get there." I just don't know how yet. "I'm going to pack and go back to the Hospital. Once I know the four of you are safe, I'll get Hurley and make my way to Hawaii."

I can hear Sun taking her phone off the speaker. "Be safe. Sayid. We need you."

"I'll try my best to stay safe." Now it's my turn to figure out a way to get to Hawaii.

**LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST**

California ~ Outside Of Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute: Two Hours Later

Once I return to the Hospital I check the perimeter once more but find no one. The absence of surveillance and not hearing any word from Sun has me extremely worried.

"Don't worry they're fine, Sayid. Sun will be calling you soon." When I turned to face Shannon she has a bottle of nail polish preparing to give herself a manicure. I learned very early on that this is Shannon's way of dealing with things.

"Are you okay, Shannon?"

She looks at me and with an eye roll continues to paint her nails. "I'm fine, Sayid." This means she's not. "Okay, maybe I'm not fine but it really doesn't matter right now because we have bigger problems."

I'm torn between wanting to know what's wrong with her and what our bigger problems are. With a sigh I ask Shannon, "What are our problems?"

Without taking any attention away from her manicure, she starts to talk. "Sun and the others are going to make it to Hawaii without any problems. It's you and Hurley that I'm worrying about." That seems to be something everyone's worried about lately. "Widmore has an idea of what you're trying to do and he's not happy about it."

I wonder how he found out about my plans. Shannon's quiet for a few minutes while she finishes her nails then she turns so she's facing me. "The man's not stupid, Sayid. Right now he only has an idea but in a few hours he'll know."

"How will he find out?" I ask wondering if there something any of us can do to buy more time.

Shannon just shakes her head no to my silent thought before she starts talking again. "He's was watching Kate and Hurley. In about an hour their flight will be taking off and they're going to notice that Kate's gone. Once that happens, the man you saw earlier will be coming back to make sure Hurley's still here."

I have less than an hour to figure out how to get Hurley and myself to the safe house.

"I have idea if you want to hear it." I just smile at her in response. "He'll be watching all the airports here in California. There's a small private airport in Red Rock, Nevada. Once you get there it won't be hard to find; there's really nothing else in the town."

"The man you need to see is named Brad Atkinson. If the price is right, he'll fly you anywhere you want to go. If you drive all night you can get there before Widmore finds you guys."

Shannon opens the car door preparing to leave with a guilty smile on her face. "What is it that you're not telling me?"

"Brad and I might have dated once." And with that shes gone.

Well...isn't this just great?

TBC…………………………Enter Lost Music


	7. BreakOut's & ShootOut's

Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost

Chapter 6 (Sayid POV)

Santa Rosa, California ~ Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute: The Same Day

After Shannon's abrupt departure, I decided to take anther look around the perimeter to see if I could find any unguarded access points to the Hospital. I found an entrance on the South wing of the Hospital that the staff uses for smoke breaks and the security in this area is very light. Walking back to the car, I notice that the figure still hasn't returned yet. Twenty minutes later my phone rings.

Looking at the display, I see that it's Sun. "Sun, are you guys okay?"

"We're fine, Sayid." With a sign of relief, Sun continues to talk. "Lucky for us, my friend was planning on leaving the states today for business. He has no problem taking us to Hawaii first. We're in the air now and be at the safe house in a few hours." I feel better knowing there safe and on the way. "When should we be expecting you and Hurley?"

"Tomorrow. Sunday at the latest. Be safe." With that I cut our connection. It's time to go get Hurley. I check the perimeter once more before I enter the Hospital. As I make my way through the Hospital I wonder how I'm going to convince him that he needs to return to the island.

Hurley will be the hardest to convince; after all he did check himself into a Mental Institute so he would not have to deal with the guilt of leaving the others on the island.

Walking silently towards Hurley's room I almost miss him sitting in what seems to be an all purpose room. His back is to me and he doesn't notice me at first. I check the hall once more before I walk over to the window and look outside.

He finally takes his attention away from his checkers game which he's playing by himself. "Sayid?" Hurley seems surprise to see me but it doesn't last long before his back to his game.

"Hello, Hurley." I can already tell that this is going to take a lot of convincing.

Looking at me Hurley say, "I think visiting hours are over, Dude." I do believe this is his way of telling me to leave.

I start to get an uneasy feeling. I turn so I'm standing next to the window and facing the entrance of the room. I glance outside the window once again. I don't see anyone but the unease remains. "This isn't a visit. I want you to come with me."

Hurley finally gives me his undivided attention. "Go where with you?"

Now isn't the best time to tell him we're going back to the island. "Someplace safe."

"And why would I go anywhere with you?" He goes back to his game of checkers. "I haven't seen you in, like, forever."

"Circumstances have changed Hurley."

In a laughing tone, "What circumstances?" He doesn't plan on making this easy at all.

I have a feeling we're running out of time. "He has had you under detailed surveillance for some time now."

"What do you mean "he" has had me under detailed surveillance? I haven't seen anyone new or different around here. And who has been watching me and for what?" I give him a stern looking, clearing letting him know who I'm talking about. "You not talking about W…"

"Don't say it. We're being watched."

Hurley just gives me a bemused look before he starts to talking again. "Dude, I've been having regular conversations with dead people. The last thing I need now is paranoia."

"I'm finding paranoia keeps me alive." It does not surprise me to find out Hurley is talking to the dead. "I've been having regular conversations with her for weeks."

Hurley gives me a sad smile. "Sorry, Dude." I think I've finally reached him. "We're not going back, are we?"

"No." Well at least not today. "Just somewhere safe."

"Okay then. Hold on a sec." I notice Hurley move one last piece on the checker board.

"Checkmate, Mr. Eko." A few weeks ago I would have thought he was completely crazy and needed to be here in the Hospital. I know differently now.

Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost

We make it to the South wing unnoticed by any hospital staff and hopefully will we can continue to go unnoticed. Once we step through the door I know that's not going to be possible.

The man from earlier was about to use same door to gain entrance to the Hospital. With one look at us comprehensive dawns on his face. "Sanchez, Jarrah's here at the Hospital—" I raised my gun and with one shot to the heart, he's dead.

I can hear Hurley draw in a sharp breath. "Dude, what's going—"

"Run, Hurley!" As we run across the large field in front of the Hospital I pray that he was alone. Running in the open like this is makes us easy targets. I can hear Hurley breathing heavily behind me but when I turn to check on him, he's keeping up with me.

As soon as we reach the car we both in and driving away from the hospital in less than a minute. "Dude, what's going on?" Hurley's yelling at me.

"He was the man Widmore had here watching you." I can tell Hurley wants to know more but we don't have time for that right now. "Once we're safe I'll explain everything but right now we need to get to Nevada." He makes no comment so I take that to mean he's going to trust me. For the moment anyway.

I see headlights up ahead and my unease from earlier returns in full force. I have a feeling we're about to meet who ever was on the phone. "Hurley, get the gun from the black bag in the back seat."

I can see him looking between the car and me. "You know, maybe they're not after us, Dude." He still hasn't made a move to get the gun. "They probably just ride right past us. Yeah, that's right. They're not even thinking about us." I believe Hurley is about to go into shock.

"Hurley." My tone is my firm but I hope it will calm him back down. "I need your help. You're right they might not be after us but it's also a chance that they are. So please… remove the gun from my bag."

"Okay, I can do this." Hurley keeps repeating to himself as he reaches into the back. The car is at the point where it's about to pass us and I hope maybe Hurley's right. The car passes us and quickly makes a u-turn. "They're following us."

"I know Hu—" And before I can finish my sentence bullets start hitting the car. I pick up speed and swerve hoping to miss some of the bullets.

"They're shooting at us!" There's a loud explosion when several bullets hit the back window. "What are we going to do?" Hurley's hyperventilating now.

"You're going to calm down, get the gun and start shooting. Now!" I'm practically yelling at him now. That seems to do the job. Hurley finally gets the gun and starts to return fire. "Aim for the tires."

We're almost at the highway when I feel a pinch on my arm. I know it's a bullet but we can't stop now. Hurley fires two more shoots and the person driving the other car loses control and slams into a tree. We finally make it to the highway and without stopping I make a left heading towards Nevada. "You did very well, Hurley."

I've been driving for forty-five minutes before he says anything. "We going back aren't we?"

"Yes, we're going back." I think he can handle and deserves the truth now. "It's either go back with us or go back with Widmore. An as you just saw, he really doesn't care which way we go back."

"It's okay Dude, I believe you. So where is this someplace safe and how are we getting there?" The pain in my arm has gone from a pinch to fire running up an down my arm but we having to keep driving. "Sayid, you're bleeding. Pull over and let me drive."

Without comment, I find somewhere to pull over. "Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?"

"You needed to remain calm until we were safe." As we switch sides, I hope that we are safe. There hasn't been anyone following us since we left the hospital. I wished we could changes cars but it would take to long to find a replacement. It's dark so hopefully no one will notice the shattered window.

"Do we need to stop so you can see a doctor?" I shake my head no. It hurts like hell but we can't take any chances. "So, where are we headed?" I'd forgotten Hurley was unaware of our destination.

"Red Rock, Nevada. There's a small airport there Shannon told me about. Apparently, an ex-boyfriend owns an airplane and will be willing to fly us to Hawaii if the price is right." Hurley has an amuse smile on his face. I choose to ignore it and continue talking. "The directions are behind the visor."

I remove one of my tee-shirts from my backpack to wrap my arm with. Once I wrap my arm, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. It's been an extremely long day and I think it's finally catching up with me.

I feel a soft breeze on my face and I know Shannon's with me. "Go to sleep. Everything's going to be fine." With that I close my eyes and let sleep overtake me.

Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost ~ Lost

Red Rock, Nevada ~ Empty Parking Lot: Four Hours Later

"Sayid, wake up we're here." I feel Hurley shake me slightly. When I open my eyes I expect airplanes and hangers but instead all I see is an empty lot. I turn and look at Hurley waiting for an explanation. "Dude the windows busted, I'm still wearing my Hospital gown and theirs dried blood all over your shirt." These are all valid observations. "I found the airport and it's only about ten minutes from here. We can change and walk back to the airport."

"You are correct. I brought you some clothes and I hope they be okay." We both get out the car so we can change clothes. I tell Hurley that he will need to wipe down the car so it will not be traced back to us. Half an hour later with Hurley carrying the bulk of our stuff we set out for the airport.

A short time later we're standing in front of Fallston Private walk towards the only building we see. Once we enter the building there's one man sitting at a desk reading a magazine. He looks up at us but says nothing.

"We're here to see Brad Atkinson."

"Brad's not in right now. He took some people on a week long trip. Should be back next week some time." My feelings are caught between relief and dread. Relief that I don't have to meet Shannon's ex and dread of not knowing how we're going to get to Hawaii. I know Shannon wouldn't send us here for no reason at all. "Names Ken. Where you trying to go?"

"We need need to get to Hawaii today."

"That'll cost $20,000." Ken tells us the price as if it will change our minds. The price is less expensive than I would have thought. I open the bag I'm carrying and remove the money. Ken's eyes grow wide "That will not be a problem. When do we leave?"

"Give me an hour."

TBC..............................Enter Lost Music


	8. Hawaii And Beyond

**A/N 1: I wanted to take this time to thank everyone who's read this story. I also wanted to thank: Jac Danvers & Pace1818, for your constant reviews. Your kind words keep me writing, when I just wanted to give up. Thanks.**

**A/N 2: This Chapter has a shot-out to one of my favorite Shows. I'm not telling which one it is. (Okay, I'll tell you at the end.)**

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Chapter 7 (Sayid's POV)

Kenneth J. Charvat's Private Plane ~ Somewhere Over Arizona: Five Hours Later

Four hours into flight I call Sun to let her know we're okay and that well be arriving in Hawaii in a few hours. And then I call the last person in the world I want to talk to—Benjamin Linus. After the third ring he answers. "Hello Sayid," I cringe inside every time he says my name. "I take it you and Hurley are safe."

"We're safe and so are the others," The pain in my left arm reminds me of the bullet grazing my arm. "Although, I'm going to need stitches." I decided to tell Ben what happened before he asks. "When we were leaving the Hospital, some of Widmore's men were chasing and a bullet grazed my arm."

"How long before you arrive in Hawaii?" Ben asks me.

I look at my watch and answer, "Five hours."

"I'll be waiting." With that he cuts the connection. And I know Ben will have no problems finding us.

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

Kauai, Hawaii ~ Hanamaulu Airstrip: Five And A Half Hours Later

Once Hurley and I are off the plane I notice a man standing next to a limo, holding a sign with our name on it. I have no doubt Ben arranged this and more than likely he's in the car waiting for us. "Who would send a limo to pick us up?" Hurley asks with a curious look on his face. Walking towards the driver, I decided not to answer his question on the off chance that I might be wrong. He takes our bags and opens the door for us.

When we're both in the driver shuts the door and I find out I was correct. Ben's sitting on the far side with a black bag next to him. With a smile, "Well hello, Mr. Reyes. It's wonderful to see you again."

Hurley's looking around the car as if Ben was talking to someone else. "Hi, Dude."

"Sayid, let me look at your arm to see how bad it is." I move to sit next to Ben and remove my coat and shirt. After looking at my arm for a few minutes, "Four or five butterfly stitches should do." As he starts to work on my arm I feel the limo start to pull off.

We all grow quiet and it's Hurley who breaks the silence. "So what happens next?" Turning we both look at Ben for an answer.

"While you were making your way here; I called Widmore and told him he needed to be in Alaska in a week and he told me he would be there in four days. He was also rather pissed with you, Sayid—said something about killing one of his men and almost killing anther one." Ben says the last part with a harsh laugh and looks at me for a response. When none is given he continues to talk and work on my arm.

"I've made arrangements for us all. Our flight leaves at 7:30 am and there will be a car there at 5:30 to pick everyone up. Once we arrive in Anchorage…"

Hurley cuts Ben off asking, "Anchorage as in Alaska?" He nods his head in conformation. "I think I'm going to need a bigger coat."

"You'll have time to shop for whatever you need tonight." Ben taps my arm and when I look down and see he's finished. I grab my bag and pull out a clean shirt and remind myself that I also will have to do some shopping.

"Once in Anchorage, we'll be taking a small private plane to Dutch Harbor in Unalaska. We have an appointment to meet with a Captain by the name of Phil Harris. From what I've heard he's the best of the best."

I feel the limo stop and look up to see we're sitting in front of a house. A few moments later I see Sun walk out the door and Hurley's face lights up. "Okay dude, shopping for warm clothes, 5:30am pick-up, Alaska – cold and meeting with a Captain. Is that everything?" Ben just nods his head and Hurley practically jumps out the car and runs towards Sun.

As I move to get out of the car Ben calls my name. I stop without turning, "Your journey is almost over." And without looking back I step out the car. Yes, my journey is almost over but I wonder what's waiting on the other side for me.

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

Dutch Harbor – Unalaska, Alaska ~ The Fishing Hook Lounge: Three Days Later

After almost three days of travel we arrive in Dutch Harbor. We checked into the only motel in town so we could rest and plan out our next move. It was decided that Ben, Sun and I would meet with Captain Harris. Jack and Hurley would stay to help Kate with Aaron.

Standing outside the Fishing Hook Lounge, I really don't now what I should except of a man who would arrange a meeting in a place like this. Walking through the door, the three of us stand out. All talking in the bar stops and everyone turns to look at us. I feel Sun move closer to me and again I wonder what kind of man would do business here.

Deep gravelly voice starts talking. "I believe they're looking for me." With that everyone returns to what they were doing previously and the three of us head for table where the Captain is sitting. His wearing a black hoodie with the selves pushed up and blue jeans. Short graying blond hair and blue eyes and he looks to be in his early fifties. "Sit, I won't bite." He says going back to drinking his beer.

Looking at each other we decide to take a chance because it's now or never. Lighting a cigarette, he sits quietly just staring at us each in turn. Eventually, Ben starts to speak. "We need a Captain who's willing to take us to the edge of the Bering Sea and you came highly recommend amongst your peers."

"Did I now? I been there once and it's nothing out there," I can tell he knows more than he's letting on. "So, what are you looking for anyway?"

That's the response Ben was expecting but he keeps going. "A research facility," He sits a piece of paper on the table with the latitude and longitude of our destination. "It's called, 'The Tundra Station'. Our supply ship left six weeks ago and we lost contact with the ship and station about four weeks ago. The others and I, ten in total, were sent to find out what happened." If I didn't know Ben, I probably would have believed his story.

"No need to lie to me," Our Captain eyed him; he doesn't believe him either. "A ship that big, doesn't just disappear out here and no one knows anything. No call for help. It makes no difference to me. How much you willing to pay and when will you be ready?"

"Five million and we will be ready by tomorrow afternoon when the last three people get into town." Ben sits the black bag he had with him on the table. Captain Harris, unzips it and gives it a once over before he closes it again. I wonder from time to time where Ben gets so much money to just throw around but at the moment I don't really care.

Finishing the last of his beer and cigarette he stands and drops a few bills on the table. "Cornelia Marie, she's docked at pier 18. If you not ready by 3:00 pm, we leave the next day." With bag in hand he starts walking towards the door.

As we walk out I ask Ben what time will they be there here tomorrow.

"Noon." He replies, avoiding my gaze. I sigh silently. I'm not looking forward to spending any more time than necessary with Ben and Widmore.

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

Dutch Harbor – Pier 18 ~ Loading the Cornelia Marie: Three Days Later

We arrive at noon while Captain Harris and his crew were still loading the ship. Looking at my watch, I notice its noon and there's still no word from Widmore, Penny or Desmond.

After loading our luggage and getting Kate and Aaron settled, an hour has passed and I decide to go outside and see if I see anyone. Walking past the room Sun and Kate are sharing, I see Sun just coming out the door with her coat on and she decides to join me outside.

We stand on the dock enjoy the peacefulness of the day not knowing when we might enjoy anther.

"The two of you, sure have become close lately." We turn to look at Ben but before either of us can respond when here yelling coming towards us. We turn around and see that Widmore and the others have arrived.

"I'm not getting on that thing." Ben walks and stands in front us, "Is this the best you could do Benjamin Linus?" Widmore asks hatefully.

This is going to be a long trip. "You don't have to come at all, Charles Widmore."

"You can fight on your own time," Captain Harris voice floats down from the ship, "but were leaving now. Forecaster's are predicting a big storm's gonna hit Dutch in a few hours and I don't want to be any where near it." And he walks back into the wheelhouse.

"This isn't over Linus," Then Widmore turns to look at me, "That goes for you to Sayid." Widmore turns on his heel towards the ship. Penny and Desmond speak and will decide to catch up once they settle in.

Walking to the ship myself now, I realize that my journey is truly almost over.

TBC……………….Enter Lost Music

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**A/N 3: Favorite Show ~ Deadliest Catch**

**Favorite Boat ~ Cornelia Marie**

**Favorite Captain ~ Phil Harris**


	9. It's A Good Dream

**A/N 1: This Chapter is dedicated to my wonderful beta: Faithfulwriter. Without her none of this would be possible. This was my first time writing anything longer than an e-mail, let alone a FanFic. With Faithfulwriter's help, I turned a dream into reality. So thanks and this is for you.**

**A/N 2: This chapter has a shot out to one of my favorite movies. (I'll tell you at the end.)**

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LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

Chapter 8 (Sayid POV)

Cornelia Marie: On Deck ~ Somewhere On The Bering Sea: A Week Later

Last night after dinner, Captain Harris informed us we should be arriving at our coordinates by tomorrow. It was great to know we would be off the ship soon. The last seven days have left much to be desired. We've been stuck in the major storm system on the Bering Sea and we're all suffering from sea sickness. And with constant arguments between Widmore and Ben, small quarters and an irritable child, I don't believe any of us except for maybe the crew could handle it for much longer.

In need of some fresh air and privacy, I head for the deck where I find the ocean had finally calmed and for once it's not raining. The stars are beautiful out here and it reminds me of sitting on the beach with Shannon trying to teach her the names of the constellations.

After years of trying to find forgiveness, meeting Shannon made me realize I first needed to forgive myself. She made me want to be a better person; a better man—and for awhile, I was. Losing everything changes how a man looks at the world. I was no longer a Torturer but an Assassin—which suited me just fine until Shannon made an appearance in my life again. Even as a spirit, she still has the ability to make me want to be a better person.

The door opens and Sun joins me on deck. We stand quietly observing the stars. "Has Shannon made any appearances lately?"

"No. I feel her presence around me but I believe she's choosing not show herself."

Sun's face blossoms into a warm smile. "I dreamed of Jin a few nights ago," Looking at her I don't see any anger or sadness; just a peacefulness that was not there when we start on this long journey. "He came to say goodbye."

"I don't know what tomorrow has in store for us but I just wanted to say thank you.

I couldn't have done this without you."

"Good night, Sayid." Sun gives me a warm hug and heads back towards her room. I gaze at the stars for a few more moments before heading to my own room.

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

Cornelia Marie: Sayid's State Room ~ Somewhere On The Bering Sea: An Hour Later

Sleep is hard to find once the rain and wind starts again. At times it feels as if the ship will capsize and send us all to a watery grave. In the moments between being awake and being sleep, I hear a soft voice. "Go to sleep..." Knowing Shannon's with me, I finally fall to sleep.

LOST ~ Dream ~ LOST

Becoming increasing uncomfortable, I turn so I'm lying on my back. When I first fell asleep, my room was cool but comfortable. The temperature has risen by at least 30 degrees. When I open my eyes, Shannon's smiling down at me.

"I am asleep." Looking around, I see that I'm no longer on the ship but back on the island. I'm lying on the beach, with Shannon sitting next to me. I can tell it's mid-day with the heat from the sun. "This is a dream."

Bending down she kisses my softly. "Then it's good dream. Sleep…"

She kisses me once more before she stands and walks towards the edge of the ocean. Knowing Shannon's so close, I'm unable to keep my eyes closed. Standing, I walk towards where she's standing and wrap my arms around her. We sway gently to a tune that neither of us can hear.

"I've missed you Shannon." I feel her tense at my words and hold her tighter. "What's wrong?"

"It's time," Turning around in my arms, Shannon lays her head on my shoulder. "I have to go back."

"No!" I knew this time would come, just not so soon. "I need…"

Shannon hushes me, resting her fingers on my lips. "You don't need me. This is your journey, Sayid. It's all up to you now."

Moving her fingers from my lips, I twine our fingers together and place them over my heart. "I love you Shannon."

"I love you. More than you'll ever know." Shannon looks directly into my eyes before she starts talking again. "When the time comes Sayid, you're going to have to make a choice. Just remember whatever decision you make, I'll always love you."

"What are you talking about, Shannon?" She moves our hands, so there resting on her heart.

"I can't say more than that; just trust me." With one final kiss from Shannon; she moves out of my arms and starts to walk towards the jungle. Before she walks past me completely, she stops and whispers softly in my ear, "I'll always love you."

I continue to look out at the ocean as Shannon walks away. I know that if I turn to watch her, I never let her go. "I'll always love you, Shannon."

LOST ~ Dream ~ LOST

I wake with a jolt. At first I'm disoriented trying to place my surroundings. It takes a few moments before I realize I'm on the ship. A loud knock pulls me from my thoughts. I grab my pants and make my way to the door. I open the door and find Hurley standing there.

"You okay, Dude? I've been knocking for the last 10 minutes."

"I'm fine, Hurley." Looking down at my watch, it's seven thirty in the morning. "Is there something you wanted?"

"Captain Phil said we should be at the coordinates within the hour." He says with an excitement in his voice. I smile slightly. This is very good news.

"I'll pack and meet everyone on the deck." Hurley just gives me a big smile and walks toward his room. It's almost over.

TBC………………………….Enter Lost Music

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**A/N 3: Movie ~ The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers**

**Scene ~ When Aragorn dreams about Arwen.**


	10. Tundra Station

A/N 1: Okay folks, we're down to the wire. Three chapters left. (Two of the last three will up tonight.)

A/N 2: This Chapter is dedicated to the wonderful: Jac Danvers. Your reviews have kept me writing when I thought no one was reading this story. Thank you and this is for you.

DiorNicole

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

Chapter 9 (Sayid POV)

Cornelia Marie: On Deck ~ Latitude 70 and Longitude 180: 45 Minutes Later

The sight the meets us once were on deck is breath taking. Snow for as far as the eye can see. In the distance I can see mountain ranges cover in snow. It's beautiful here but I know that's not why the Dharma Initiative built a station in this location.

After the speed boats were loaded and lowered down to the ocean; it only took us about thirty minutes to reach the ice. Two snow cats are waiting for us onshore and should take about four hours to reach the 'Tundra Station'. Our belongings are transferred quickly and our trip to the station begins.

For the most part the ride is done in silence but for the occasional comment about our surroundings. It's now become apparent that we are headed for the mountain ranges we observed from the ship. After driving for anther twenty minutes, a small building comes into sight. As we drive closer, I notice it was built directly into the mountain.

Once everyone is inside, Ben turns on the generator and the lights turn on one by one. The station looks like a giant underground fortress. It looks as though only the outer building was built and the mountain was carved out to complete the station, like they were one now.

There two long corridors; heading in both directions. Ben starts out down the right corridor and we all follow.

"It should take about a day, to get all the machines up and running," Ben tells us.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Yes Sayid that would help speed up the process." I hear a collectively sigh from the group. It seems no one else wanted to spend an extra day here either.

We stop in front of a set of double doors. "This is one of the large dorm rooms." Ben opens the door and we see that the room can accommodate around 20 people. "You can rest here while Sayid and I prepare the machines for the jump."

Leaving everyone to get settle in, we continue our walk down the corridor. After about a hundred yards or so we come to a glass room, filled with computers and other equipment.

"This is the control room for the 'Nightcrawler'. From here, we're able to teleport to the island."

"You going to teleport us back to the island, with only this equipment?" I ask, looking around the room.

Ben points to a catwalk, that I hadn't notice at first. "Go take a look." He tells me in his smuggest voice.

Reaching the end of the catwalk, I have my first glimpse of 'Nightcrawler'. It looks like a giant glass cylinder that reaches from floor to ceiling and has to be at least a half-a-football field large. Looking down, the platform has seven large rings made of several small circles with a large one in the middle. The sight is breath-taking.

"I felt the same way, the first time I stood where you're standing," Ben says walking out onto the catwalk.

"How does it work?"

"With 'Nightcrawler', we have the ability to locate the island no matter where or when it might be. We can take anywhere from four to ten people per trip." A dark look crosses Ben's face before he starts talking again. "In order to make the jump, we need an anchor; a person connected to the island."

"What will I need to do?"

"It's simple really," Ben points to the platform. "You'll stand in the middle of the platform with each of us standing in one of the circles in the last ring. You'll need to focus on the island, once the jump countdown starts. And 'Nightcrawler' will do the rest."

"Let's get started then." I take one last look before heading back towards the control room.

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

'Nightcrawler' ~ Control Room: 12 Hours Later

Once 'Nightcrawler' was operational; we asked the other's weather they still wanted to make the jump tonight or wait until tomorrow. The decision was made quickly; everyone wanted to make the jump tonight.

After changing and meeting back in the Control room, Ben takes about ten minutes to explain the process to everyone. "Any questions?"

"Will, I be able to hold Aaron during the jump?" Kate asks quietly.

"No, he'll have to stand on his own." Setting the computers for the finally count down, "Once we're on the platform; we'll have five minutes to get into position before the countdown starts."

As we head down to the platform, I wonder what tomorrow holds for us all. The computer announces the start of the countdown.

_Five minutes until teleportation countdown…_

After taking my position; I look around at the others to see how there holding up. Kate and Jack are both trying to convince Aaron, that there's nothing to be afraid of. It's just like a ride at the Amusement Park.

_Four minutes until teleportation countdown…_

Hurley and Sun are standing next to each other talking about, Ji Yeon. When she arrive in America, I asked Sun why she didn't bring Ji Yeon with her? She simply stated, _"Jin told me to leave her in Korea, with my mother. I didn't question him." _I know it has to be hard leaving your child behind, not knowing when you will see them again.

_Three minutes until teleportation countdown…_

Desmond and Penny are once again arguing with her father about something.

_Two minutes until teleportation countdown…_

Ben's making his way over to me; I can only image what he has to say.

_One minute until teleportation countdown…_

"Thank you, for everything, Sayid." Looking down, I see Ben's holding out his hand for me to shake. Shaking it, "After we return to the island, I'll make sure that you have a way to get your people home safely." He goes to take his place with the others.

"_Teleportation sequence has commenced. One minute until jump." _As the final countdown begins, light starts coming from the platform; surrounding each person.

"_59, 58, 57…"_

When I start focusing on the island, my thoughts go directly to Shannon.

"_46, 45, 44…" _The light that surrounds us becomes brighter as the countdown continues.

Meeting and getting to know her. The misunderstandings, the silence and the grief.

"_33, 32, 31…"_

Falling in love and our one night of passion.

"_25, 24, 23…" _The light continues to intensify.

Dying in my arms.

"_17, 16, 15…" _

Leaving her behind.

"_10, 9, 8…" _A bright light from the ceiling starts to shines down on me.

"_3, 2, 1…" _There's a flash and then darkness.

TBC…………Enter Lost Music


	11. Atiya

A/N 1: This Chapter is dedicated to the wonderful: Pace1818. I thank you for always taking the time to review. You help get me to this point and I Thank you. This is for you.

DiorNicole

LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

Chapter 10 (Sayid POV)

"_10, 9, 8…" A bright light from the ceiling starts to shines down on me. "3, 2, 1…" There's a flash and then darkness._

Even before opening my eyes, I knew I was no longer in darkness. It takes a few moments before they adjust to the bright light once I open them. Realizing I'm not on the island but in an Airport, I'm immediately on my feet looking for the others. The terminal is void of all human life. Picking a random direction, I start walking in the hopes of finding the others. After only a few steps, I hear a noise behind me and turn quickly.

"Hello, Sayid." Sitting in a row of chairs, is a woman I've never seen before.

It takes my brain a few moments to start working again. "Who are you?"

Without thought I reach into my waistband for my gun and then remembering remove it for the jump.

"My name is Atiya." Pointing at my waist, "You won't need that here." I wonder how she knew I was reaching for a gun.

Slowly I start walking toward her so I can get a closer look. Sitting with her legs crossed she's wearing a brown pin-strip suit and brown high heels that match perfectly. Her long jet black hair is pulled back into a bun with a few curly pieces framing her face. Her skin is the color of caramel and her eyes are the deepest blue I've ever seen.

"Who are you?" I know I asked the question before but even with a name I still don't know who she is. "Where am I? And what's going on here?"

Patting the chair next to her, "Come sit with me and I'll try to answer your questions."

I'm not sure what I should do but I remember she is the only person I've seen since I woke here—wherever here is. Deciding to take a chance, taking the seat next to Atiya; I finally get a chance to take a good look at her. She reminds me of someone but I'm unable to figure out whom.

Atiya points out the terminal window and I see two airplanes, which I'm pretty sure weren't there at first. "Let's just say I'm you flight attendant and you have a flight to catch." She looks quickly around the terminal. "And thisplace is just a lay-over for you."

"The last thing I remember was being in Alaska, preparing for the jump to the island," I walk over to the window and stare at the planes. "Now you're telling me I have a flight to catch. What's going on here?"

"_Oceanic Flight 815 was supposed to arrive at LAX on time without any problems._ Do you remember when Shannon first told you that?" I give her a look that should let her know Shannon's off limits. "That look doesn't work on me. Shannon's part of this; if it wasn't for her, you wouldn't be here now."

"I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that." I take a few deep breaths to calm myself before I start talking again. "Can you please just tell me what's going on?" I ask for the second time in hopes she will finally answer me.

"Well in a nutshell, the Universe is fixing a huge mistake. Your flight was never supposed to crash and none of you should have ever step foot on that island."

"That flight was over three years ago," Three long years, "_now_ the Universe wants to make everything right."

"You weren't ready yet."

"What do you mean, not ready yet?" That's such crap. "The universe screwed up but I wasn't ready? Give me a break." I realize I'm channeling Shannon and I laugh to myself.

"Time's passes differently here, Sayid." Atiya comes and stands next to me at the window. "In three hours Oceanic Flight 815, will be preparing for take off from Sydney, Australia, gate 23 on On September 22, 2004, at 2:15 local time." She motions toward the flight list. It's already boarding. "But you have a choice to make."

"What do you mean? What kind of choice?"

"If you take the plane on the left, Oceanic Flight 815 will arrive at LAX, on schedule." I turn my head to look at Atiya and run my gaze to the left and back to her deep eyes. "If you take the plane on your right, the plane will never leave Sydney."

"I don't understand. What difference does it make?"

Atiya was quiet for so long, I figured she wasn't going to answer the question. "You can't have them both." She turns to face me, "And it's your decision. You make it alone."

Finally, I understand what she means. The options ring in my head like an alarm. My choice is really between Nadia and Shannon. I could change it all. Without any real thought, her name pops into my mind. And I know my decision is already made. Atiya was right. A few months ago I wouldn't have been able to do that, let alone three years ago.

"_Final boarding call, for Flight 208._" The PA voice explodes the quiet room. "_Final boarding call, for Flight 208._"

Atiya points at the PA system, "You've made your choice. Now it's time for you to leave."

We stop once we arrive at gate B, "Thank you, Atiya." She just gives me a warm smile.

"You're welcome. Now go. You have a plane to catch." With one last look; I turn and start walking towards the plane and my future.

TBC……………………………Enter Lost Music

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A/N 2: Atiya ~ **_A gift._**

A/N 3: Can anyone guess who Atiya is?


	12. I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing

A/N 1: I Don't Want To Miss A Thing ~ Song and Lyrics belong to Aerosmith.

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LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST

Chapter 11 (Sayid POV)

_Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause Id miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing_

The feeling of an elephant sitting on my chest pulls me from the darkness. Afraid of what I might find I keep my eyes closed and listen to what's going on around me. Voices. Lots of voices talking at the same time. I'm unable to make out any one single conversation.

"Flight 815, can I please have your attention? This is your Captain speaking." My eyes fly open, when I realize what was just said and the pressure in my chest is completely relived. "Due to problems with one of the main engine, Flight 815 has been grounded."

Disbelief and shock are the only words I can use to describe my feelings at the moment.

"I repeat; Flight 815 has been grounded due to engine problems." I realize that we won't have to suffer the trials of the island, and joy fills my heart. "Please follow the direction of the flight attendants for unloading of the aircraft. Once in the terminal, please report to the Oceanic Airlines Ticket Counter for further information." To Allah be all praises. "We do apologize for your inconvenience and thank you for flying Oceanic Airlines."

When we reach the terminal, the first thing I do is to remove my shirt, lay it on the floor and sit down to pray. With so much to be thankful for, I don't plan to let an opportunity pass to thank Allah for my many blessings. I stand and replace my shirt, focused on my next mission: to find Shannon.

As I look around the terminal, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, I wonder if she'll remember me. Atiya, whoever she was, never told me if everyone would remember what happened or not. I feel a hand touch my arm and I turn to find Sun and Jin standing behind me. We just stare at each other before Sun throws her arms around me.

"Thank you." She starts crying and Jin rubs her back softly.

"Yes, thank you Sayid." Jin thanks me in halter English and I know without a doubt they remember.

Sun lets me go and returns to Jin side. I don't want to be rude but my only thought is to find Shannon.

Before I could excuse myself, Sun and Jin start smiling. "I think someone wants to talk to you." Sun tells me. Turning, I see Shannon standing no more than three feet away from me.

Neither of us moves an inch. We're at a lost for words and we just stand there staring at each other. Everyone else fades away but Shannon. My hearts tells me to go to her but my mind says it's not real. I fear if I touch her, she'll disappear and I just can't handle that.

_I could stay awake just to hear you breathing  
Watch you smile while you are sleeping  
While you're far away dreaming  
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender  
I could stay lost in this moment forever  
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure_

"Dudes, are you guys going to just stand there staring at each other?" That brings me back from my thoughts and I notice a crowd has formed around us. "Will you kiss already?"

Shannon drops everything in her hands and runs into my arms. The feeling of her alive and in my arms again is indescribable. I've done nothing in my life to be worthy of such a gift but I plan to cherish her for the rest of my life. When our lips touch, the world seems right for the first time in years.

_Lying close to you feeling your heart beating  
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming  
Wondering if its me you're seeing  
Then I kiss your eyes  
And thank God were together  
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever  
Forever and ever_

When the sound of people cheering around us finally reaches our ears, we break apart but I don't let her go. I never plan to let her go again. Looking around at all the smiling faces I know this is right.

"I Love You, Shannon."

_I don't want to miss one smile  
I don't want to miss one kiss  
I just want to be with you  
Right here with you, just like this  
I just want to hold you close  
Feel your heart so close to mine  
And just stay here in this moment  
For all the rest of time_

"I love you to, Sayid."

_Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
I don't want to miss a thing_

"Get a room!" A voice from behind Shannon states. I look. It's Boone—and he's smiling. Of course he's alive too. I changed everything, except the memory. I look around. They are all alive. Every person who died on that island.

"You two deserve this." Boone tells us. I nod at him and look at my friends, a pregnant Claire with Charlie, and back to my Shannon.

At this moment in time, life can't get any better.

TBC………………..Enter Lost Music

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A/N 2: Well this is the last Chapter. Epilogue should be up in a week or so. I just want to thank you all for reading.


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